You're Too Buff, Dear
by albinoturtle
Summary: Snippets on the married life of our favourite couple. Rated T for a whole lot of indecency.
1. You're waaay too buff

They were doing laundry in the living room, and, folding a panty, Usui looked up to see Misaki staring at his arms, his shirt in her hands. "What's the matter, love?"

She blushed and shook her head, placing the pink-striped shirt on the ironing board. "Nothing."

He jumped up from where he was sitting and kissed her nose, handing her a bra. "This one has a hole; you might want to mend it."

"Since when did I mend clothes? It's your job!" She sighed in frustration as she examined the ripped arm sleeve of a polo shirt, "Usui, you've torn your shirt _again!_"

He took the half-ironed shirt from her hands. "That's alright, Misa-chan. I'm Master Sewer here. It'll be as good as new in no time!" He walked to the couch to resume his work, but turned around to see his wife staring intently at his arms again. "Now, now, what's wrong?" He flexed his muscles to show that he was all right, but he heard a seam break. _Oops.. hope she didn't hear that._

She didn't, because she was still frowning over his pink shirt. "It's just that you're t-too- _buff._" She held out a polo shirt. "You see? Your arms have been destroying every nice shirt I've bought so far! This is just an indirect encouragement for me to buy them from thrift stores!"

He walked back to her and scooped her up, a great idea forming in his mind. "Are you sure, my dear? I couldn't do _that_ without my arms…" He twirled her around as Misaki gasped in delight, then kissed her neck. "Nor could I have done _that_…" A wicked grin formed on his lips, and he placed her on the dining table. "And I definitely can't be doing _this…"_

He had a point, she grudgingly thought. Further notions evaporated as she succumbed to the warmth of his hands slowly creeping up her stomach, and his heated breath on her ear. He was always the one who did the mending, anyway…

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Okay, not the update I promised but I'm trying to upload as much as I can before I'm busy again. Hope you enjoyed this short lil' fic!

Your reviews keep me going like the engine of a car,

albinoturtle


	2. She's a screamer!

A short, dirty, and meaningless drabble. I originally intended a few snippets of scenes to be part of the next Nine Lives chapter, but decided it was too random.

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><p>"You asshole, stop smelling my underwear! The guests will be here in less than two hours!"<p>

Said "asshole" looked up and grinned. "What are you worried about, Misa-chan? We planned the entire meal course, didn't we?"

"Uh, yeah, but we actually have to _cook _it."

She found herself caught between the wall and a very horny man. "Misa-chaaan," he whined. "We haven't _done it_ since last night. According to my quick calculation, that would be an estimate of 18 hours of celibacy." He touched foreheads with her. "We are not nuns and priests."

She tried to glare but melted; instead, she stood on tiptoe and kissed his nose. "I give you _thirty _minutes. And then we really need to get cooking."

"We can get cookin' in bed anytime, dear."

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The ring of the doorbell brought them back to awareness. When Usui glanced at the clock, he grinned. "Guess we're having Chinese takeout tonight, love."

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As Usui sped off in their car to grab whatever food he could, Misaki greeted the guests. "Hello Mother, yes, I'm doing fine. How are your grandparents doing, Shintani? Aoi, put away your phone, be polite and say hi."

"He's very agitated right now," Suzuna told her, "he has been the entire ride here." Leaning close to her sister, she whispered as if they were conferring a clandestine matter. "_He's into writing fanfiction now._"

Aoi glowered and stuck his phone in his pocket. "I'm not getting as many reviews as I would like to, that's why."

"I'm home!" Usui called from the doorway.

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"Aoi, haven't you heard enough times? Put that damn phone away, it's rude towards other people!"

"You know what's rude? Telling your guests to wait for five minutes outside your door."

"…"

"Your hair is…tousled," Suzuna pointed out. "And both your clothes are wrinkly."

Shintani's eyes looked worried. "Did you two have a fight?"

A snigger came out of the younger boy. "Quite the contrary, it seems."

The awkward silence was too hard to bear as Misaki exchanged glances with her husband. _Say something! _her eyes said. And as the guests had all been staring at her and saw her eyes twitch, they turned their focus to the blond man.

"She's a screamer," Usui volunteered.

More silence.

Everyone around the table refused to make eye contact.

Aoi poked his food.

Suzuna toyed with her bracelet.

Minako found a chip on her nail.

Misaki found sudden interest in the tablecloth they had received as a wedding gift, while cursing at Usui on the inside with the most colourful language she could think of.

Because you would _think _that a couple like them could read each others' mind well. Outsiders would consider Usui challenged in this department. But as well all know, he would never give up a good opportunity to make his darling little wife to blush beet red and stamp her feet on the ground in frustration. It's endearing to him, and some things never grow old.

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><p>Well, there you have it! I <em>may <em>be back with another piece before the end of the month. Thank you for everyone who has not lost faith in me for this past year.

Cheers!

albinoturtle

Ps. Hope you appreciated the little jab about reviews. *wink*


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